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1. Dumpweed - (2:53)
It's understood, I said it many ways
too scared to run, I'm too scared stay
I said I'd leave, but I could never leave her
and if I did, you know I'd never cheat her

But this I ask, it's what I want to know
how would you feel, if I should choose to go
another guy, you think he'd be unlike me
another guy, you think he'd want to fight me

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
on the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice
my dad used to give me all of his advice
he would say you got to turn your back and run now
come on son, you haven't got a chance now

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
on the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
on the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

Need a girl that I can train
need a girl that I can train
turn your back and run now
you haven't got a chance now

Need a girl that I can train
need a girl that I can train
turn your back and run now
you haven't got a chance now

------------

Tom: Wow! Hey, I'm fucking in the mood... to party!
Mark: Hey all right!
Tom: Well fucking all right!
Hey, you know what we're gonna to do tonight?
A whole lotta fuckin.
Mark: We're all gonna get laid!
This song's about my herpes, it's called Don't Leave Me,
it goes like this.
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2. Don't Leave Me - (2:37)
Don't leave me all alone
just drop me off at home
I'll be fine, it's not the first
just like last time, but a little worse, and

She said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and
she said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
she said, "don't let my door hit your ass."
(fuck yeah!)

Just gimmie one more chance, I'll try this time
I'll give you yours, I won't take mine
I'll listen up, pretend to care
go on ahead, I'll meet you there, and

She said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and
she said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
she said, "don't let my door hit your ass."
(bass solo!)

Let's try this one more time with feeling
one more time with feeling
one more time with feeling
one more time with feeling

She said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and
she said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past."
she said, "don't let my door hit your ass."

Don't leave me all alone
just drop me off at home
and I'll be fine

------------

Tom: You will be fine you fucking asshole! Wow!!!
(loud burp) Excuse me!
Mark: Thank you.
Tom: Heya, hey Mark! We have a very special person here,
that wants to say hi. You guys, this is Satan.
Satan: Hello kids. If you guys will take off your pants,
then maybe I will be able to help you. I wanna have fun
with you, but I'm gonna have to see your dick. Plural.
I have to go away now, because there is another song.
And I've got a boner. You guys mind if I get a boner kids?
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3. Aliens Exist - (3:43)
Hey mom there's something in the backroom
hope it's not the creature from above
you used to read me stories
as if my dreams were boring
we all know conspiracies are dumb

What if people knew that these were real
I'd leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say
what you hear is all hearsay
I wish someone would tell me what was right

Up all night long
and there's something very wrong
and I know it must be late
been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

I am still a skeptic yes you know me
been best friends and will be till we die
I got an injection
of blood from the erection
my best friend thinks I'm just humping guys
alright

Up all night long
and there's something very wrong
and I know it must be late
been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

Dark and scary, ordinary
explanation, information
nice to know ya, paranoia
where's my mother, biofather

Up all night long
and there's something very wrong
and I know it must be late
been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
twelve majestic lies

------------

Mark: Tom has sex with guys!
Tom: Hey Mark! Who here thinks that I look very similar
to Tom Cruise. Thank you.
Mark: Yeah...
Tom: I think so too.
Mark: Like, like Tom Cruise in that movie "Born On The
Fourth Of July"? That one? Where he's handicapped and retarded
and stupid and nobody likes him and he just shits all over himself
and he's a fucking asshole, hey!
Tom: That was mean!
Mark: That's right!
Tom: Never attack somebody that shits on himself. Do you guys think
it's weird, to shit your pants when you're sleeping? Not that I do
it... but I did it last night. And I haven't taken a shower since
and I'm wondering if that's what smells.
Mark: Woo! Poopie! Poopoo, caca!
Hey, I wrote this next song, you wanna hear it?
Tom: You don't have a choice.
Mark: It goes like this.
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4. Family Reunion - (0:51)
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart, terd, and twat
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart, terd, and twat
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart, terd, and twat
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart, terd, and twat
I fucked your mom!

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Mark: Thank you. Thank so very, very much.
Hey, this next song is about falling in love.
Tom: What's it about?
Mark: I don't know. This song is about love!
Let's give it up for love!
Tom: I'll tell you what I love!
Mark: You know what's the best part of falling in love is?
Tom: Sex?
Mark: It's the oral sex. That's right.
Tom: The pleasure.
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5. Going Away To College - (3:40)
Please take me by the hand
it's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
just don't forget to think about me
and I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said
once a week she said

Why does it feel the same
to fall in love or break it off
and if young love is just a game
then I must have missed the kick off
don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
but I'd go through hell for you and

I haven't been this scared in a long time
and I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
this world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful, Sky Lee

And I'll think about the times
you kissed me after class
and you put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
is my picture still hanging in your locker?

I haven't been this scared in a long time
and I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
this world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful

I haven't been this scared in a long time
and I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
this world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful...

------------

Mark: ...to Travis!!!
Tom: Hey Mark!
Mark: Hey... if you guys are anything like me, you
like to dress up in your mother's underwear and walk
around the house trying to seduce your father.
What, just me?
Tom: I'm like you, I try to do seduce your dad!
Mark: Remember, remember that one time, when I walked
over to your house, and, your brother was there, with
the peanut butter smeared all over his weiner, and he's
all, "come here boy, come here! come here boy, come,
dididididididididi... who likes the Skippy? Who likes
the Skippy peanut butter?
Mark: Give it up for tom
Tom: This song is really hard to play, it's really hard
to play, I would appreciate it if you don't listen to me
for the next two and a half minutes, alright?
Shut the fuck up!
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6. What's My Age Again - (2:26)
I took her out it was Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
we started making out and she took off my pants
but then I turned on the TV

And that's about the time that she walked away from me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and are still more amused by TV shows
what the fuck is a.d.d.?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?
what's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops
and your husband's in jail
this state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and are still more amused by prank phone calls
what the fuck is caller ID?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?
where's my asian friend?

(It's the slow pretty part!)

And that's about the time she walked away from me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and you still act like you're in Freshman year
what the fuck is wrong with me?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again?

And that's about the time she broke up with me
no one should take themselves so seriously
with many years ahead to fall in line
why would you wish that on me?
I never want to act my age
what's my age again?
who's my asian friend?

What's my age again?

------------

Mark: Where's my asian friend?
Fuck yeah!
Tom: Hey Mark! I'm starting to get sweaty, and contrary to what
most people think, I think I look better wet. I've been campaigning
this for about two years now. So throughout the show, you will see
me getting sexier and sexier as it gets hotter and hotter. Ya know?
Mark: And...
Tom: And what?
Mark: If you watch close enough, you might watch Tom getting fatter
and fatter as the show goes on too.
Tom: Why would I be getting fatter?
Mark: Cause...
Tom: Boobies!!!
Mark: Oh jeez. Stop it, no.
Tom: You are too young.
Mark: You're way too young. Gosh. Let me tell you why you're gonna get
fatter and fatter, because dog semen is full of calories.
Tom: Yeah, don't eat dog semen, we hear that there's, uh, there's...,
it's the number one cause of, uh, bad breath.
Hey, this song is about when I had too much alcoholic beverages and
got kicked out of high school, wrote a song about it, and here it goes
like this.
Mark: Wanna here it, here it goes!
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7. Dick Lips - (3:35)
Please, mom
you ground me all the time
I know that I was right
all along

And I'm hoping
remember I'm a kid
I know not what I did
just having fun

You couldn't wait for something new
and yesterday I thought of you
it left me to think as if I couldn't walk away
it's too late, I fell through

Nothing to lose
a boy who went out when he finished all his chores
nothing to do
they can't trust me because I blew it once before

Shit, dad
please don't kick my ass
I know I've seen you trashed
at least one time

Can I blame it
on one of my dumb friends
it's been awhile
since I have used that line

You couldn't wait (you couldn't wait)
for something new (for something new)
and yesterday (and yesterday)
I thought of you (I thought of you)
it left me to think as if I couldn't walk away
it's too late, I fell through

Nothing to lose
a boy who went out when he finished all his chores
nothing to do
they can't trust me because I blew it once before

(Alright)

Nothing to lose
a boy who went out when he finished all his chores
nothing to do
they can't trust me because I blew it once before

------------

Tom: Hey, uh, Mark.
Mark: What, what the fuck do you want Tom? I'm sick of
"hey Mark, hey, hey Mark, hey Mark, hey look at this,
hey, look at, look at how I can make it bigger if I rub
it, look at this, hey Mark, come here."
Tom: No, seriously, Mark, hey, hey Mark. I wasn't really
masturbating. I've never done that. I was, uh... I was
inspecting my testicles for weird bumps.
Mark: That's what you say. That's what you say if your
parents ever catch you. "I wasn't masturbating, I was just
cleaning it and it went off."
Tom: You guys wanna hear a song that I wrote about four days
ago? Cause you really don't have a choice, you might as
well be into it.
Mark: Yeah, you might as well act like you want to hear it
cause otherwise we'll play it twice.
Tom: Yeah, you bastards. Song goes like this.
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8. Blow Job - (0:40)
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
from your mom
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9. Untitled - (3:06)
I think of awhile ago
we might have had it all
I was so stupid then
you needed time to grow

But now just as things change
as well my feelings do
in time things rearrange
I am so sick of chasing you

But what do I get 'cause I just seem to lose
you make me regret those times I spent with you
and playing those games as I wait for your call
and now I give up, so goodbye and so long

It's not a change of pace
this time I'll get it right
it's not a change of taste
I was the one there last night

You have your other friends
they were there when you cried
didn't mean to hurt you then
best friends just won't leave your side

But what do I get 'cause I just seem to lose
you make me regret those times I spent with you
and playing those games as I wait for your call
and now I give up, so goodbye and so long

It's not a change of pace
this time I'll get it right
it's not a change of taste
I was the one there last night

When I needed you most
when I needed a friend
you let me down now
like I let you down then

So sorry, it's over

------------

Tom: Oh, that song's done, we're done with that song now.
You guys can rest.
Mark: Satan has something to say.
Satan: Are you guys havin' a good time tonight? I'm havin'
a hum-didely-doo of a good time tonight. I like poetry, and
flowers and pictures of unicorns.
Tom: Thousands of naked boys.
Satan: And a thousand naked children molesting my weiner.
Tom: Wha, wait, what are some of the things that Satan loves?
Satan: Satan loves... unicorns... pictures, and poetry, and
long walks on the beach.
Tom: Hey, pay attention you fu... boobies!!!
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10. Voyeur - (3:28)
And when the day ends I'm sure she feels sorrow
the lonely guy I am, I like to watch her change
I've been here two days, I'll sure be here tomorrow
I'd eat her out if she were on my dinner plate

(And I wish)
I wish she'd be more kind now
I'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down
I've seen everything there is to be shown
I followed her all the way home

I can't be too cool in a tree with my pants down
the air is cold and I've got splinters in my feet
she caught me once, but I don't think that she cares now
unlike before, her view is now blocked by a leaf

(And I wish)
I wish she'd be more kind now
I'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down
I've seen everything there is to be shown
I followed her all the way home

I bet this last time's the one time too many (na na na)
the rush of waiting is burning through my head (na na na)
right after supper her brother shower's twice a week (na na na)
he kicks my ass so much, that fucking white inbred (na na na)

I've made mistakes by looking in the wrong window
her dad is big and I've never seen his face
I've been here two days, and I'll sure be here tomorrow
my lady's so sweet, she likes to entertain

(And I wish)
I wish she'd be more kind now
I'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down
I've seen everything there is to be shown
I followed her all the way home

I bet this last time's the one time too many (na na na)
The rush of waiting is burning through my head (na na na)
Right after supper her brother shower's twice a week (na na na)
He kicks my ass so much, that filthy white inbred (na na na)

(Mark: Hang on... hang on...
Tom: Hey, uh...
Mark: The song's not quite over yet, but...
Tom: The song's not done, we have to prepare for the bass guitar
solo. How ya doin?
Mark: I need oxygen to the stage please!
Tom: You need...
Mark: Oxygen and oral sex to the stage please.
Tom: And maybe some of those male chromosomes. To the stage.
Mark: Here's where I do the big bass solo people. Give it up
for me! Thank you.
Tom: Shh, here it comes, here it comes!)

(1, 2, 3, 4!)

------------

Tom: I want all you kids to know... that I'm going to think of
every single one of you tonight when I'm all alone inside my bunk.
Starting with you! I'm starting with you.
Mark: Hey, this next song, is for anybody that knew us before Enema
of the state. And it goes like this.
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11. Pathetic - (2:50)
I know I'm pathetic, I knew when she said it
a loser, a bum's what she called me when I drove her home
there's no more waiting and sure no more wasting
I've done all I can but she still wants to be left alone

You got, you got, you got to help me out
and I'll try not to argue
no one, no one, no one likes a drop-out
mistakes are hard to undo

Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, but I'm the same and I'm wrong
don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, this is where I belong, belong

I think it's disgusting, believing and trusting
if I gave a fuck there would be nothing for me to prove
although it's amusing, it's slightly confusing
I've done all I can but her ego is still hard to move

You got, you got, you got to help me out
and I'll try not to argue
no one, no one, no one likes a drop-out
mistakes are hard to undo

Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, but I'm the same and I'm wrong
don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, this is where I belong, belong

Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, this is where I belong

------------

Tom: Hey, you guys know...
Mark: You guys havin' fun?
Tom: We're professionals. You might not have noticed that,
but we are professionals at what we do. We just professionally
suck, and professionally act like a bunch of assholes on stage,
that's what we do. We're just as God made us.
Mark: Hey! You better wipe that shit-eating grin off your face
cause this next song is a sad one. And, uhhhh... more importantly
than that, if you're eating shit and grinning, then today's probably
not your day anyways, so, whatever.
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12. Adam's Song - (4:09)
I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
no wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
the choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
but you'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
but 16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
another six months I'll be unknown
give all my things to all my friends
you'll never step foot in my room again
you'll close it off, you'll board it up
remember the time that I spilled the cup
of apple juice in the hall
and please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
but 16 just held such better days
days when I still felt alive
we couldn't wait to get outside
the world was wide, too late to try
the tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
to pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
but tomorrow holds such better days
days when I can still feel alive
and I can't wait to get outside
the world is wide, the time goes by
the tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
to pass the time in my room alone

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Mark: Thanks a lot.
Tom: I want you all to say fuck with me! 1,2,3
Crowd: Fuck with me!
Mark: Fuck with me? Why?
Tom: Well, not really, you don't say the "with me"
part, just, just the fuck part cause that's...
Mark: Ah, okay...
Tom: Alright, let's try that one more time.
Mark: He, he...
Tom: What?
Mark: He just want's you to say fuck...
Tom: Yeah, not the with me.
Mark: But he want's you to say it with him.
Tom: With me.
Mark: Okay, go ahead, try again Tom.
Tom: Now do I count to three and say it? How do we do this.
Mark: It goes 1,2,3, fuck.
Tom: Okay.
Mark: Okay, cool.
Tom: 1,2,3
Crowd: Fuck!
Tom: Alright! That was the best!
Mark: Here we go. Song's called Peggy Sue, goes like this.
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13. Peggy Sue (3:47)
I know what it's like to be alone sitting in your room
listening to all those doubts that your parents have to say to you

And as your head gets all cluttered inside
try to stay awake
everything they say are lies
that's all the shit that you ever have to take

So hold in all your aggressions
because your grinding your teeth on down to
the bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
to not laugh at everything they say as
they tell you what to be you're not alone

I know what it's like to be denied at everything you do
It's not the same reason why that
makes you change the things that you once knew

As your head gets all cluttered inside
give more than you take
everything they say are lies
that's all the shit that you ever have to take

So hold in all your aggressions
because your grinding your teeth on down to
the bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
to not laugh at everything they say as
they tell you what to be you're not alone

You say you want to take off your shoes to
walk barefoot down the street
just to be the things that you can be
just live for one more week, go!

You say you want to take off your shoes
walk barefoot down the street
just to be the things that you can be
just live for one more week

So hold in all your aggressions
because your grinding your teeth on down to
the bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
to not laugh at every word they say as
they tell you what to be you're not alone

------------

Tom: I choose to blame my parents for giving me a small, bent weiner,
and an ugly face. Hey, do your guys's... you know what I noticed Mark?
Mark: Yes I do.
Tom: What, do you know, you know what I noticed?
Mark: Yes.
Tom: I noticed that throughout the, the many years of me playing with my
own weiner, it bends to the wrong side. I think I pulled it too far to the
something, the right. Do you guys care? There's something seriously wrong
with my dick kids, and I need your, uh, sympathy.
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14. Wendy Clear - (4:09)
Let's take the boat out on the bay
forget your job for just one day
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

it might be inappropriate because
either way our band gets dropped, oh yeah
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
and I'd play with a nuclear device
is it something I'll regret?
why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

The three-date theory is getting old
everyone is getting left out in the cold
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

So I'll see you with another guy
who pretends not to hear you when you cry, oh yeah
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
and I'd play with a nuclear device
is it something I'll regret?
why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

I'll be moving on, moving on
moving on, and on and on
moving on, moving on
moving on and on and on

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
and I'd play with a nuclear device
is it something I'll regret?
why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
(I wish it didn't have to be so bad!)

------------

Tom: You guys wanna hear from Satan again?
Satan: Well hello kids. Are you enjoying the show so far?
Chances all you're all gonna get laid tonight! I wanna sleep
with every single person here! Starting with the retards in
the... starting with the... sorry kids I'm not very funny any
more. I'm having a hellish of a day. Hey, I just made...
Tom: Wait... what if we did something like this. Hey Satan?
Satan: Yes Tom?
Tom: Hey, I was just wondering if I'm gonna get laid tonight.
Mark: Why no you're not Tom.
Tom: Why not?
Satan: Because your dick is small, dark, and ugly.
Tom: Alright. Am I funny or what?!?!?
(silence)
Mark: Hey, uh, I'm wanna tell ya how it's gonna work from, uh,
for the rest of the show here. We're gonna say that this is our
last song, and we're gonna play it, then we're gonna walk off stage,
but it's really we're not even done yet, we're gonna come back out
and play two more songs even after that, so, uh. That's how it works.
You know how it works. You go and you see a band play, the walk off
stage all "thanks a lot! goodnight!", and you know those motherfuckers
are gonna come back out and play two more songs anyways, so, you know
what. At least we're straight about it.
Tom: They call it an encore.
Mark: Yeah, it's an encore.
Tom: Encore. Say it with us kids, encore.
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15. Carousel - (3:38)
I talk to you every now and then
I never felt so alone again
I stop to think at a wishing well
my thoughts send me on a carousel

Here I am standing on my own
not a motion from the telephone
I know not a reason why
solitudes a reason to die

Just you wait and see (just you wait and see)
as school life is a
It is a woken dream
aren't you feeling alone?

I guess its just another
I guess its just another
(I had sex with your mother) night alone

Now as I walk down the street
I need a job just to sleep in sheets
buying food every once in a while
but not enough to purchase a smile

A tank of gas is a treasure to me
I know now that nothing is free
I talk to you every now and then
I never felt so alone again

Just you wait and see (just you wait and see)
as school life is a
it is a woken dream
aren't you feeling alone?

I guess its just another
I guess its just another
(??) night alone

------------

Mark: Thanks a lot you guys!
Satan: Hey kids, it's Satan. Thanks a lot for coming on down to
the show tonight. Hope you all had a great time. I know I did.
Those Blink fellas sure put on a kick ass show, huh. Hope to see
you all at the after show party. I'm gonna start sucking dicks
and squeezin' titties, maybe I can put my peepee in your mouth.
I love it when the kids come on over and I get, I have them suck
and kiss my peepee tenderly and gently. I like it when the kids sit
on my lap, and talk about unicorns and flowers and things like that.
Maybe I'll even suck their blood. See ya kids later!

------------

Mark: Hey, how you guys doin' up in the back? Now from the top balcony,
can I get an Amen? Now from the floor, can I get a Hallalujea? Now from
all these other assholes, can I get an oh yeah?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
16. All The Small Things - (3:35)
All the / small things
true care / truth brings
I'll take / one lift
your ride / best trip
always / I know
you'll be / at my show
watching, waiting, commiserating

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na, na, na....

Late night, come home
work sucks, I know
she left me roses by the stairs
surprises let me know she cares

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
Na, na, na, na....

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
keep your head still, I'll be your thrill
the night will go on, my little windmill

Say it ain't so, I will not go
turn the lights off, carry me home
keep your head still, I'll be your thrill
the night will go on,
the night will go on,
my little windmill

------------

Mark: Hi. We're back, just like I said we'd be back. You can leave
now and beat the traffic.
Tom: Or beat your meat.
Mark: Or... you can stick around and beat your meat. I like that.
I think I'm gonna say that every night from now on. You can leave
and beat the traffic, or you can stick around and beat your meat.
Satan: I have a few words to say about beating your meat. Just, I
just heard you guys talking about masturbation, I thought I'd show
up, and... I don't know, uh, I don't think I'm wanted here, so I'm
gonna take off, see ya guys later.
Mark: As my present to you people, we're gonna stop talking now and
play a song. Thank you.
Tom: Surprise!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
17. Mutt - (3:39)
He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb
she has her curlers set, her credit cards are paying the funds
he's not that old, I've been told a strong sexual goal
he goes out everyday she goes every way, oh yeah
they don't even care at all

She's open waiting for more
and I know he's only looking to score
and it is way too unhealthy
often they've typically
been starved for attention before

She smokes a dozen and he doesn't seem to notice the smell
he took the seat off his own bike because the way that it felt
he wants to bone this I know she is ready to blow
they go out every night his pants are super tight, oh yeah
they don't even care at all

She's open waiting for more
(she's open waiting for more)
and I know he's only looking to score
(he's only looking to score)
and it is way too unhealthy
often they've typically
been starved for attention before

She's open waiting for more
and I know he's only looking to score
and it is way too unhealthy
often they've typically
been starved for attention before
(take off your pants!)

------------

Tom: We really love each other, we are the best of friends.
Fuck Mark, Travis... you guys mean a lot to me man. You know
what I mean? He needs some ointment. Hey, I think every single
pharmasutical drug should be, uh, in oinment form, and it can
only go on your balls. Ya know, like, if you have a cold, you
gotta rub ointment on your balls.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
18. The Country Song - (0:59)
Uh oh. Uh oh. Oh shit.
Oh fuck, I'm gonna start dancin'!

Take off your pants, dad
your penis is the biggest thing
my butt's ever had
'cause I know, it feels so good
shut your fucking face, uncle fucker!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
19. Dammit - (3:05)
(Take your pants off!)
It's alright / to tell me / what you think / about me
I won't try / to argue / or hold it / against you
I know that / you're leaving / you must have / your reasons
the season / is calling / and your pictures / are falling down
(they're falling down)

The steps that / I retrace / the sad look / on your face
the timing / and structure / did you hear / that he fucked her?
a day late / a buck short / I'm writing / the report
on losing / and failing / when I move / I'm flailing now

And it's happened once again
I'll turn to a friend
someone that understands
sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
and I've been here for too long
to face this on my own
well I guess this is growing up
well I guess this is growing up

And maybe / I'll see you / at a movie / sneak preview
you'll show up / and walk by / on the arm / of that guy
and I'll smile / and you'll wave / we'll pretend / it's okay
the charade / it won't last / when he's gone / I won't come back

And it'll happen once again
you'll turn to a friend
someone that understands
and sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
and you've been there for too long
to face this on your own
well I guess this is growing up

Well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up

------------

Mark: Alright! Thanks a lot you guys! woo!
We'll see ya next time, motherfuckers!
Tom has no dick! No dick at all people!
Thanks a lot and goodnight!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
20. Man Overboard - (2:46)
So sorry, it's over
so sorry, it's over
there's so much more that I wanted and (so sorry, it's over)
there's so much more that I needed and
time keeps moving on and on and on... (so sorry, it's over)
soon we'll all be gone

Let's take some time to talk this over
you're outta line and rarely sober
we can't depend, on your excuses
because in the end it's fucking useless
you can only lean, on me for so long
bring the ship about to watch a friend drown
sittin' out on a ledge, begged you to come down
you can only lean, on me for so long

I remember shots without a chaser
absent minded thoughts now you're a stranger
cover up the scars, put on your game face
left you in a bar, to try and save face
you can only lean, on me for so long
bring the ship about to watch a friend drown
sittin' out on a ledge, begged you to come down
you can only lean, on me for so long

So sorry, it's over
so sorry, it's over
there's so much more that I wanted and (so sorry, it's over)
there's so much more that I needed and
time keeps moving on and on and on... (so sorry, it's over)
soon we'll all be gone

Man on a mission
can't say I miss him around
insider information
hand in your resignation
loss of a good friend
best of intentions I found
tight lipped procrastination
ya, later... see you around