the wrong way....the way i choose

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It is hard to tell...but it is something really sad to me..to my best friends...and few great buddies. they dont believe what i have done..the mistake...big mistake ever. I cann't undo but have to face this...i can't run...i have no place to runaway...even now i'm searching for overseas job. thank god,my two brothers give me support...they don't want me to be useless guy...my gf...give me 200% support...i know what she feel...i did an unforgiven mistake...i knew..she really love me...but...i do not appreciate it before...i don't to give her a hope....i don't know what will happen after this...my mind...my feeling...feel sick...uh!...i hope i can runway by the end of this year...but...it is really sad..leaving my friends...my gf...my home...my mum..sistes n bro's.....:(
Now i feel,like a prisoner who will be shot dead for the next few days....