emo come into my yes..again

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i am emo. i can't hide anymore even myself. it is a big lie if i said i'm calm and cool but the fact is i'm emo.these few days, got some news form fwens that she falling* with someone else..also my fwen. Since end of 2004, bothof us getting friend...but lot of things that boundaried us. i stay cool coz i cannot force her. we talk each other on the phone..we do sms...i knew that she really like me but when i came down to her office with hope can have a lunch with her...but i dont have a chance. she will going out with other friend. then i start to give up..give up..give up..then we getting slow...but lately she have ask me 'dont you worried,there have a few single guy here(office)'. yeah,of coz i'm worried and i tried to start again the friendship..but now it was late but not too late. she crush with someone else, i think maybe..he better than me.maybe she deserve to have this guy coz i have nothing.with no future carreer..no car...i have nothing.but now i'm 25, there is a long way to build carrer..to have a car..to have enuff money..married..to have children. she so sweet. last time i found sweet gal is Mynn my college mate when i'm going into Imperia College but...when i want to start the story...she engage with someone else..parent choice.waht i can do.it is a fate.now the story stop again..i knew that gal come in and out in my life but..i cannot stand sttrong with my feeling.it was a sad..sad poem for my life.now, i start listen to 'touchng' song..emo.'Discurage' from nice Stupid Playground singing at my ear.a sad song for me.tonite no cigarette..mean that i cannot easily to sleep.i thought it was simple..but complex.maybe i have to make my own way..find new job..new place...so then i can forget all this things...but one thing i cannot lie that i love her..it was late..