the end of sweet memories

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i dont know why i said that i want to break up with her but in my heart..i always luv her.maybe i am too jealous,but i have no right.i am belong to someone who i do not love.uhhh!.but the saddest thing is she take it serious.finally our relationship as lover is over now.i know she still love me.she will always love me.i'm praying for it everyday.Last Thursday,suddenly my manager ask me how many exam which i still didn't pass.then i said, i got four exam left. he said that i was selected for a trip to DUBAI.i'm not really hoping for it because i know who i am. just a passenger in this company.he said that got 4 tickets.each department got 1 ticket.actually the four tickets are reward for buying Cisco products. i think the products is for my next project.i know if i really selected,of course there are too many people will not satisfy with me because i work here only for one year and two months.thats why i'm not really hope that i'm selected for the free trip.and last friday i suddenly listen to a conversation.i dont now what they are talking about.but i feel that my name will not be on the list. the first list was come from ceo i think.ohhh...maybe office politic again.nevermind.it is ok for me.then last night when i went for a open house,i heard that there will be only 3 tickets and my name definitely will not in the list.huh!memang dah agak dah!hehhe.but the funniest thing is my Biz Manager said,i will fight the seat for you Fauzi...kesian kat laa kat ko fahmi. it's hurt me a lil bit because i know that i am nobody in my company.that make me wanna go oversea...get a new job...a better life.i thought i can release my tension if can go somewhere.huh!malangnye nasib. i think they get a new list with seniority at the first place.i think this year,my project which using Cisco product is about 2 million..and the next project..is a few million...but nevermind lah...everywhere you go...seniority come first lah...betol tak?what a wonderful melayuan!